Could I have run more in February and March? I wonder if I stretched enough. I've had three pretty good nightmares about the marathon. Shelly had a dream that I was super tall and won the marathon. I like her dream.
Overall I think I trained as well as I could. I had some great runs, and some really bad runs. I even kept thinking the same pile of branches was a rabbit when I did 10 laps at the local college 2 mile track. I was "run drunk". Mostly, the wind was hard. It pushed me back. Every time it got really hard- I could talk to Ruth and remember why I'm doing this. The last windy day I ran, I had the wind at my back. It pushed so hard that I could imagine two tiny hands at the small of my back, pushing me along.
I'm afraid of failing because I'm not doing this for me. I don't want to fail her.
I have a little bracelet that will be with me when I run the marathon. I add a shell every time I run 100 miles since she was born. All the miles that she has run with me. It has an "R" for Ruth and a little silver shoe, she is my running partner- so she gets her shoe.
Her memory has kept me strong and focused when I feel weak and unsure. Thank you Ruth.
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